How to Turn Up Your Attraction to Your Partner
Every couple goes through periods where your partner just seems normal. The glamor seems gone, or at least diminished, and it can lead to wondering where the magic went. But here are five ways to turn up your attraction to your partner without looking elsewhere (or trying to turn him or her into somebody else).
1. Focus on Your Partner. When he’s in the room, pay attention. Notice the proximity, what he’s wearing and what he’s doing. When you were first falling in love, you probably gazed at him all the time, constantly aware of his every move, and you can recreate this mindset by not taking his presence for granted. When he’s there, notice, even if you can’t do anything about it.
2. Highlight Your Partner’s Touch. Physical interactions, from kisses to sex itself, can become dull from repetition, but this can be offset by focusing on it, despite how often you’ve felt it before. Consider every little touch as though it was the first time and treasure it, like it means something rather than is “just another touch.”
3. Spend Some Time Together—Looking at Each Other. So often, couples who have been together for a long time can become accustomed to how each other looks to where they don’t face each other anymore. Even when you’re together, you aren’t talking face-to-face—you’re looking at the kids, the television, your phones, etc. Go out, not to the movies, where you won’t see the other person, but out to eat without distractions. Go for a walk, to a park, or a zoo, and make a point of enjoying your partner and not just the scenery.
4. Wear Something Your Partner Likes. Rather than pestering your partner to change his wardrobe and wear more whatever-it-is-you-really-prefer every day, try switching up your own clothing choices to where he naturally responds to it more. Pick his favorite lipstick color, a blouse he really likes, and watch how he reacts. Chances are, when the light of admiration is in his eyes, you’ll find he’s more attractive than you thought…even if he still wears the same, less-than-dashing garments to work. (Of course, if he has outfits in his closet that you detest, you should politely let him know; there’s nothing like a get-up you can’t stand to chill even the warmest attraction.)
5. Remember How Great Your Partner Is. Instead of worrying about your lukewarm response, think about all the things you like about your partner. How he makes you smile, or how he makes you laugh. How he’s such a great friend, and he’s such a special person. The more you appreciate them, on the inside, the better the outside will look and the more you’ll want to be close to your partner again.